Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day to all the dads, grandads, stepdads, mums being dads, kids being dads…. We couldn’t do it without you, so thank you. Fathers Day is bittersweet for me as my Dad is no longer with us. This day hurts every year and it doesn’t get easier. in lots of ways I don’t want it to feel better, I want to feel his loss forever and never forget the good times.

Losing a parent is something unexplainable until it happens to you. Not being able to reach out to someone who has been there since you were born will never feel real. I still hear myself saying “Mum and Dads house” instead of just “Mums” now. There are major events happening for the family, all good, and I know he can see would just love to hear what he thinks. Reckon he’d be proud.

Now my logical mind thinks us daughters who have lost fathers have it worst. If you lose your Mother and you are a Mum, you still get to celebrate Mother’s Day with your own offspring. But Fathers Day no longer exists for us and that hurts. I wonder if that makes sense to anyone else?

I read this next poem today and could relate to every line “

To the Daughter Who Has to Wake up Fathers Day Without Her Daddy,

I get it.

I get that he will be the last thing on your mind when you go to bed Saturday night, and he will the very first thing on your mind when you wake up Sunday morning.

I get it.

I get the broken heart, the lump in your throat; that physical ache deep, deep down in your belly.

I get it.

I get the wanting of him; the needing of him. I get the longing for even just one more moment with him.

I get it.

I get that pang that your chest feels when the phone rings, and your mind fleets (for even just a moment) when you think it could be him.

I get it.

I get that yearning for just one more conversation, just one more piece of advice, just one more comforting hug (because is there anything better than a daddy hug? the answer is no).

I get it.

I get the fake smile that you will wear, the forced laughter that you will have, the “Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks for asking” that you will respond with on this day.

I get it.

So, Daughter Who Has to Wake up Fathers Day Without Her Daddy,

While on that day you may feel more alone than ever,

Please know that you are not.

Because this daughter right here, the one who has to wake up on Fathers Day without her daddy?

She gets you.

She really, really gets you.” You’re not alone, all of us ladies will experience this at some point. I hope its a long time for you.

So I hope you guys who still have your Dads have had a great day, spoilt him, let him know he’s appreciated.

Til next time, Toodles xx

1942-2019 Forever Our Hero

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